🥀Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One✨

manifestation, mindset | 2 comments

Ok love, it’s time to talk about shifted perspective and the meaning we give to things that happen in our lives.

Almost three years ago I shared this pic & text on Facebook.



In it, I’m talking about my mom and how I was still experiencing so much pain after 10yrs of her being gone.

May has always been a very hard month for me for a while and as you can see on that status update from 3 yrs ago, it was an ongoing thing. Key here is…. WAS!

I’ll explain that in a second.

First, a few ponderings that circle my mind here and there….

‘Till when are things supposed to be hard? Are we meant to accept it all, shake our heads while saying “it is what it is”? Should I then just accept that “May months are hard for me and I can’t change those events, so there’s nothing to do just push through it”.

Nope…. after that 10th round of “May-Pain” I decided it wasn’t going to be that hard anymore. It wasn’t going to be so painful.

The idea that events/situations are neutral and WE give meaning to it – ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is powerful and gives us the option to choose a different meaning, a different ending. It’s on us to assign it the meaning and behave based on that meaning. {consequently writing a new story from then on}

I knew that intellectually already so it was time to put it to practice.

Even thou I considered myself completely justified to be feeling that way.

Because there were concrete reasons, events… FACTS!!!! – for the meaning that I put into May month!

Still it was time to change…. *I* could change that bit…. the meaning…..

….and so it was a done deal. The meaning would change.

So back in Nov 2017 I decided to make May of 2018 AWESOME! Starting from DAY 1!

First I needed to be very clear…. what were the events/happenings/facts and what meaning was I assigning to them?

Combining both answers into one paragraph::  May was a constant reminder that I lost someone whom I love and who was crucial in my life, someone that – as we all know – can’t be replaced at all, a mother. What made it all extra-hard was that three meaningful dates related to her fell in that same month:

  • her Birth Day
  • a non-specific Sunday to celebrate her role in my life {Mother’s Day}
  • her Day of passing.

ALL THREE within the same month. 😑 *Not* spread out throughout the year to make it a bit lighter.


All packed into one.

I honestly didn’t even know which one was worse. Her Birthday and all the memories of surprises and celebrations we had, Mother’s Day *everyone* and their dog talking about it and celebrating it, and then the day she passed, the memories of the slow motion day in my head….. That was all too much remembering/celebrating packed within weeks {or days sometimes!} of each other and it was all too painful for me.

So the meaning – May was a string of reminders that the most important person in my life was gone.

ok, then, how to flip something like this? How to turn something so obviously and irrevocably painful into something else?

I start thinking what did she really represent to me? One of her core beliefs? Even if never spoken out loud, something I knew she stood for her whole life per her behavior throughout the years….

do what you want. – follow your heart’s desires.

Don’t get me wrong, she had loads of “shoulds” and “musts” in her life that she fought to free herself from till the last day, but her core message was always that – even if afraid, go after those dreams regardless.

ok, so that was a powerful turn around of the meanings.

I decided that May would be an intensive reminder of that, her core and what my mom stood for :: follow your heart’s desires and never leave your dreams behind.

GREAT! Much better perspective, ya? 🌟

And how could I really start going for it? From Day 1?

First thing that came to mind: Travelling!

Something I’ve been meaning and craving to do for ages but never felt the time was right to do it.
Like really?  When is the right time to do anything? Or you do it or you don’t! THAT is the “right time” — when you go for it.

Soooo…. I made “the right time” to travel May 1st. I was not letting one.single.day go by of that month that I wouldn’t be living that goodness of her message!

And the place I’d go to? The one I’ve been dreaming about since my teen years:

🇮🇹 Italy! 🇮🇹

So I did it.

May 1st 2018 came around and it was ON! 😃
I shared this on Instagram:


Traveling to Italy of course was awesome, but specially on those days that were the most scary and painful to me, what happened then?

May 8 : Her B-day

Art, flowers and food!


Didja know my mom was an artist? Like an actual one 😀 She made a full-time living out of it. She was also a Stationery lover. Guess WHO was the very first person I saw using a Filofax in my life? 😎 And obsessing over it? And flipping the tinny {Personal size} pages with gusto, making noises as she flipped them back and forth, e-n-j-o-y-i-n-g- flipping those pages like she meant it?  Yeah, mom!

On that day I intentionally set off to search for an art supply shop.

If she was there with me on that trip, {or even back home} we’d go wild on those shops and that would be an “outing” for us. As in, if we’d plan something to do just the two of us that’s where we’ll be heading for FUN – an Art Supply shop 🎨😎

And so I found one, headed over there and got lost in the yumminess inside.

After that, following her trail, nature was next. 🌸🌿

I was lucky to experience  one of the most beautiful gardens I’ve been in a while.

The Giardino delle Rose 



It’s right uphill on the way to the Piazza Michelangelo.


The statue dude really representing “the feels” of the need to stop to enjoy the view.

I’ll tell ya, that uphill pathway had long spacious steps to get there and although said steps were not steep ‘per say’ they somehow felt like they were. #Exhausting 🤪


The Giardino delle Rose is a JOY with that view and relaxing  environment. More than that, it REALLY is well placed {and needed} on the the way to the Piazza. 😀

A much needed rest and recharging point in there.


Now, my love I can’t resist and need to show you some random pics. Because this place…. 😍

First off, the view from the “hike” itself.
It *was* a long-never-ending upwards walk but still gorgeous throughout:


That view…. 😍


the hidden angles… 😍🌸


That {top} view!  😍


Already IN the garden some of the walls casually sitting gorgeously right there 🌿


I was in heaven!

Me, chilling with the roses 🍃🌹

Feeing all the feels of being in a peaceful sweet garden in Florence, just chilling and nothing else.


I can say without any sort of doubt SHE {mom} was the one who instilled in me the love for nature, flowers, bugs and being observant of their lives.


While everyone was cramped up inside museums I couldn’t have spent a better afternoon of non-doing, only BEING in a garden.


After that, off to a very good eatery.

There’s a long story about this restaurant I ended up going to but I don’t want to bore you to tears so I’ll just let you know that I fed myself really well that evening.


and this was just the appetizer 😋


All for mom, of course 😁 As a very stereotypical Taurus that she was, FOOD was her third obsession {after art + nature} and there wasn’t a meal that she wouldn’t wrap up by talking about what she would eat on the next one 😄

I walked my way back to the place I was staying and so the beautiful nightly city view was the wrap for the day.



May 10 : Mother’s Day

More flowers and the Public Library


Now this one started with yet ANOTHER garden. 😍 Not a Rose Garden this time but an Iris Garden! And that one visit I wrote all about it already. You can check it out over here. 

I did spend the whole day there. As being true to my leisure days {and mom celebration mode} after exploring the Iris Garden I went to, yet again, feed myself extremely well.

There is a VERY funny story on this one restaurant I ended up {I know, I’m full of fun anecdotes 😀 } but again, this post is super long already and I want to keep focusing on the main point of it {that you will find out soon}.

So for right now, here’s the proof that I took very good care of myself again:



The first picture….. appetizer, people, just the appetizer! 😋

The second one, the “actual” meal. The main course 😍🍝🍷

So after my “light meal” {perfect to crash into bed 🙄 #not} I went for a walk in the ‘hood.

And what did I stumble upon?!


The most dreamy of it all?

It was opened AND there was people in there reading, studying, typying, giggling…. AT ALMOST MIDNIGHT! 🤩


Those arches…. the different levels ….. 😍



I walked through ALL floors, up and down to not miss a thing. And from each and every floor?

There it was…. the Dome….. following my every move without skipping a beat. 😍 So so so gorgeous!



Then off to walk some more to get home but not before one last stop since this deliciousness presented itself in front of me out of the blue. 😁🍭



ok, so now, we are down to the last pain-inducing day of the month:


May 20 : Her day of passing

Daydreaming and doodling


Now sweets, here is the beauty of it all that started to shape up back then.

On May 20th I was already back home in USA. It had been 5 days I was back and just like the other 4, I was still dazzled with my trip, daydreaming about it while barely making any effort to put my bags away 😁🛄

I spent most of that day – a Sunday! – reliving the trip in my head, and doodling impressions of it. The best one to encompass it all is of ME doing exactly that…. drooling over Rome’s map and the memories of each point I visited. 😄⛲️


I always pay attention to repeated numbers {Angel Numbers!} and stop what I’m doing to appreciate the moment when I see them.

At some point that day I looked down on my phone and it was showing one of my most fave and meaningful of all :: 444.

I took a screenshot of it, as I usually do, and sat with that moment for a bit. I sat with the yumminess and deliciousness of that moment, in knowing the pattern of pain that have been hunting me for so many years could be broken as I actively decided to do so.

I had those ponderings in my head, when occurred to me:

“Wait a minute…… today….. today….. today is actually MAY TWENTIETH! ……”

I looked back at my phone in disbelief.

“Today is actually supposed to be the worse day of the entire month and I……. forgot?!” 😳

🤯That mind-blowing moment 🤯

The entire month that I’ve decided that it would be about celebrating who she was and what she meant for me totally WORKED faster than I thought and completely overpowered the pain I associated with that month.

The essence of her that I wanted to preserve was there in every moment and the pain….. not even a shadow of what it was. So much so that I.didn’t.remember.that.day.was.the.day! 🤯

Now…. almost one year later, the best part?

Knowing that this change is FOREVER AND FOR GOOD!

‘member in the beginning of the post how I mentioned that I’d dread the approach of May month because it was just too much? Too many dates packed in such a sort time spam? And I’d dread this month so much so that even it approaching was a struggle? Meaning, April wasn’t all sunshine either.

Well, my love guess what? All that intentional and purposeful mindset shift works like magic {as everything is in this world does! ✨✨✨✨}

Last weekend, Saturday May 4th to be precise, I was lounging in the couch, thinking about all the goodness past and ahead. Thinking about future plans and this new sparkly juicy month, I rolled to the side and for some odd reason is when it occurred to me….. “this new sparkly juicy month….. is….. May?!…..As in….. May?!…… 😳….. Pain-May?!…. How… how come…. how come….. I didn’t see that coming? How come I forgot about it? How come am I not thinking about it at all? HOW COME WE ARE 4 DAYS INTO ‘PAIN-MAY’ AND I JUST REALIZE IT NOW?

And that is when quickly the dots got connected in my head and I triumphantly, splashing the duvet to the side and all, 😆  got off the couch to start writing you this post.

As I finish typing this and make this post live it’s May 8th.
✨🎂 Her Bday :)) 🎂✨
A full circle moment. 🌸💖

And this my love is a full on example {with lots of pictures!} on how we always had + have the power all along.

We have the power all along, within, to change the meaning of things.

We have the power all along, within, to change the meaning of things and write a new story.

If you didn’t know it, now you know ✨
If you knew it but forgot, this was your reminder ✨

I’ll soon be reopening the Plot Twist course, a course all about exactly that — rewriting our stories to create new and better ones.

To warm us up for the course, the Refocus Challenge which is a Daily Challenge to get you in the right mindset to help flip perspectives, go back to your flow and focus on a new re-written story, will start again in a few weeks! 🌀💜

And it is FREE! No reason to not join in, sweets!

Fill out your info below and you are set to go:



To wrap up,  just because I’m celebrating her today, a pic of us from way back when: 😍



Have a wonderful rest of the week, loves!

Many Smooches,




Hey, love! I'm Raine.👋🏼

Artist, designer and believer that ✨joy & fun✨ are a MUST in our lives. My hope is that my posts will bring you a giggle, a smile, and also remind you {when you happen to have forgotten} of the importance of your own happiness – to yourself and to those around you.

Cheers to this delicious truth! 🥂✨


  1. Pat

    Good for you, Raine! I know how you feel, although it has been only 4 years since my mother’s passing. Her birthday was June 1, and Mother’s Day was in May. My own birthday is tomorrow, May 9th, so falls close to and sometimes on Mother’s Day. Maybe my sons will think about May the same way. Excellent job, Raine, and LOVE your photos!

    • Raine

      Hi Pat!✨🎁HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎂✨ Hope you are planning something nice for yourself tomorrow!

      I’m glad this was helpful and you could relate! Your mom was a Gemini, like me 😍 Good peeps, good peeps :))

      And thank you! I loved revisiting my photos too, haha 😀


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