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Hello my love. 🙂

Hope your weekend was wonderful.

Ya know… I had a very rough one last week.

If you have been following my blog for a while you might have heard me writing here and there about my back.

Pain come and goes.

This past week was one of unprecedented pain. Even in one of my worst times it wasn’t like this. Or at least I don’t recall it.

It all has been building up for the past couple months but the climax came right after a conversation with a few entrepreneurs friends. {by the you need to get yourself some of those. 😀 Seriously! They rock!}

In that conversation I finally got it out of my chest.

“I am scared.”

I said it and I got teary.
I said it and I choked.
I said it and I felt relieved.
I said and I felt alive.
I said it and I had a huge insight.
I said it and I felt free.

All at the same time.

Hubby and I are doing HUGE life changes – again – and although I have been waiting for it for years, I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was after all freaking scared.

I didn’t let my fear come out. I didn’t want it to come out.
Not because I am tough and like to play strong. Rather I know that fear was there as a lack of love. Lack of love for the situation I am in and lack of love for the fact that I am not in control of everything. How hard is it to embrace uncertainty trusting that the wheels are quietly and steadily moving in your favor? How hard is it to let yourself immerse in that sea of “unknowness” trusting that the Universe created the container for it. Very hard!

And that is when beautiful things happen. Beautiful things happen exactly because we are not in control.They turn out BETTER than we imagine because we are not in control.

I know this.

Years ago I’ve been to many situations, one after the other, that required my fullest trust, believe and faith that the net would appear as soon as I was present. As soon as I jumped.

This time was nothing like before yet I forgot how to feel it. I forgot how to trust.

So, I let myself be. I let myself feel it all. The fear. The pain.
I was gentle with myself. I moved slowly and drank tea. ♥
I, after months of craving it, painted for myself. Painted just for fun.

Wow! Who could have though of THAT! 😀

And I sketched. Sketched a lot for fun.

This sweetness was one that decided to come out to play.

LimeTreeFruits.com

 

And how am I feeling today? Sore.
Sore but better.

The excruciating pain is gone. I am so much calmer and lighter.  Much more able to enjoy this beautiful moment we are living right now. A moment that I actually worked so hard {internally and externally} to achieve. I am trusting the process. I am trusting that as I move, the net stretches out to reach me. We are in synchronicity.

And you know what? It all went down to self care. To listening to my body. Understanding what she was trying to tell me.

I know all this already. I knew better than to just neglect feelings and emotions and still….. I clogged them all in my throat. I held them down as tight as I could.

It is a never ending process, ya know?
It is a process to stretch out what we believe is possible.
It is a process to tune out to be able to tune in.

And THAT is why my love I am super-duper excited about our live chat! NEXT WEEK! Eeeeekkk 😀
I want to share it all with you. Trial and errors, a-ha moments and the big fancy plan I came up with so we can turn things around and get to the finishing line {Dec. 31st} with a big smile in our faces knowing that:

This year was worth it!

Our live chat is on March 25th at 8pm EST. Let me know you are coming, love.
Sign up right below.

Big Smooches,
Raine.

PS-  The big life change that freaked me out this week is coming up in the next post. This Thursday. Stay tuned! 😉

 

 

 

Hey love! I’m Raine 👋🏼

Artist, designer and believer that ✨joy & fun✨ are a MUST in our lives. My hope is that my posts will bring you a giggle, a smile, and also remind you {when you happen to have forgotten} of the importance of your own happiness – to yourself and to those around you.

Cheers to this delicious truth! 🥂✨

It is time to start creating the experiences you want in your life✨

The Hub awaits you with support, knowledge, tools and accountability to help you in every step of the way

6 Comments

  1. Ann Deemer

    I am so sorry about your back pain. But you are absolutely right in needing others with you. Some of my closest friends go back 55 years – Yes, that’s a long time but we just understand each other. We take care of each other. I had back surgery in Nov. and it was preventive – to prevent having a severed spinal cord. No pain before – plenty now – but I am up and walking and thank God for the miracle that my doctor accidentally found it on an MRI. Embrace your friends. I am brand new to my Filofax but I absolutely love it!! I make time to work in it and find myself. Thanks for your wonderful emails.

    Reply
  2. Fuzzy

    My dear Raine oh how I know back pain, take care, take things slowly, drink lots of water, don’t lie down to much makes it worse, create…… immerse yourself it……its is very healing………. but for me sadly as I read and reread your post I felt you are so lucky the world works for you, things work out for you, the universe is in your court and things just seem to work
    For me every day I see as punishment from the universe I would rather be pushing up daises but I vowed to look after a parent so im stuck here in this horrible place Nothing ever works out for me people say im negative…… no Im realistic I know that I know Hope you back gets better really quick
    Take care my dear Raine you are so special to all of us

    Reply
    • Deborah King

      Fuzzy On it’s so painful to hear your words and I hate you are feeling “stuck”. I can identify with your situation to some extent (with my Aunt) but it’s a dangerous place to let yourself fall into. Please work on your emotional health and wellbeing. You can change things even if you think the Universe conspires against you, that’s not the case, it’s you conspiring against yourself and the Universe is just helping you because that’s what you are putting out there. xo

      Reply
  3. Lena

    Thanks so much for sharing this Raine, you described so well exactly how I’m feeling but wasn’t able to put into words, it’s good to know that I’m not alone feeling this way. I also need to make self care a priority and listen to my body 🙂 I hope you get well soon!
    xoxo

    Reply
  4. Deborah King

    Hi Raine. A huge decision yes but so exciting at the same time to not know where you are going to end up, just that it will be the perfect thing/place/time for you and hubby. I envy you.

    Interesting isn’t it how and where and what in the body emotion can manifest itself and I think you found, for the most part, that fear was the pain. Bravo for acknowledging it and getting it out there and it’s so liberating to be able to do that with a bunch of like-minded people. I shall look forward to your journey and to more lovely artwork. (I love your artwork – I surround myself with all your lovely printables which help me immensely to get motivated).

    Reply
  5. danitza hamilton

    You have really touched me . I ran into you in pinterest and I am a big fan. I just spent a happy hour cutting paper down to a4 size using your advice (couldn’t get to office max, but it worked a charm with my paper cutter. It made running some exercise planner pages easy and they are already in my faux-fax Thank you and take care.

    Reply

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