Helllooo my favorite!
I got some juicy tea for you today. And a cake 🍵🎂

Last week was my B-day and as per usual, weeks earlier I start doing a reassessment of how did this personal year developed.

I do a check in on how things are rolled, events, people, habits, patterns that need an upgrade or be left behind, and the whole process is just juicy! It is like a New Year check in all over again but right in June.

And with it, comes so many insights! 💎✨

The things that have been blowing my mind lately, are a few concepts that I have been experimenting through the last few years but I feel this last one truly solidified them in me.

I have also been playing a lot with digital art {first experiments right on this link here, including one of my first gifs!} and for my B-day week of course a cake was in order paired with some tea {reads the insights!} 🍵🎂

And I got some extra juicy tea to share with you today!

Ready?

Here we go:

{psstt, they are not in order of relevancy or anything like that. As I was journalling and doing my own assessment, they just came through}

Ok, now for realz:

🍵 Tea 1:

Results can come out of pain and struggle OR joy and ease.

I used to have this really deep believe that right after some intense struggle things would flip on its head just like that. Meaning after a period of suffering I’d have “my turn” of goodness. As if that intense struggle was required to happen FIRST. Or as if I had to prove that I suffered a lot and so I was finally deserving of good stuff after it. The famous “no pain no gain” that I now call pure BS.

The thing is, I DID get the results I wanted right after lots of inner drama, pain and even exterior conflict with people. It would work, because I {subconsciously} believed that I’d be “compensated” for my struggles.

Now interesting enough, once I realized I had this belief in me, I started experimenting with the exact opposite – when faced with a seemly big problem, I intentionally didn’t let myself fall into inner drama and directed into trusting the situation, feeling at ease, focusing on solutions, listening, holding space for others and myself, and…. guess what happened? I also got the results I wanted.

In some of those, the scenarios were very similar and I needed the outcome to be almost the same thing. And with BOTH ways of approaching  – through struggle or through ease – I got what I wanted.

👉🏼 It is our trust in the process that creates the result. Not the process itself.

✔️If we believe in “no pain no gain”, we WILL receive what we want after struggling.
✔️If we believe things are easy and life flows, we WILL receive what we want through intense feelings of trust and ease.

 

🍵 Tea 2:

Every single one of your feelings are right. They are never wrong.

Now shaming ourselves for feeling something? Trying to speed up and “get over it already” because that’s just how it is? THAT is actually the problem. That is the “wrong” thing we do to ourselves.

Everything we feel is always valid. We might not *want* to feel a certain way in a certain situation, we might not *want* that certain situation, person, or circumstance to affect us so much but if it is there, it is there. Don’t suppress it or shush it down.

👉🏼 Give room to feel those feels. Because there is always a reason for us to be feeling a certain way.

 

 

🍵 Tea 3:

Triggers are PORTALS to our next level and all the goodness in it

I know, I know no one likes triggers and some people don’t even like to admit when they get triggered but hear me out on this one, love…. or better yet, picture this:

We are trying to create new experiences, we are moving towards a diff version of ourselves, a diff level in life and then all of a sudden…. BAM! a darn trigger comes up {or multiple ones}.

We start feeling overwhelmed, annoyed, depleted, because “there’s always something”, or “I was doing so great! Why is this showing up NOW?”

And then there’s a great chance that get stuck again and we feel trapped running in circles not sure how to keep moving anymore.

Right when we were excited moving ahead, isn’t it? 😑

💎 This is because triggers my love, are guiding us to the next step. They are showing us what we need to heal, process and shift before that next level can fully be.

Think about it — Your next level self would not feel triggered about that thing. Not that she would ignore it, hide from it, or pretend that it isn’t’ there. No. Your current self is the one that does that. The one you are becoming? She has overcome that already. She has looked at it from every possible angle to understand why this thing is such a bother. She has tackled it and process it. She is free from it. Read that again: Your next level self is free from it.

It is because you are moving forward that those triggers are showing up. They are not matching anymore with who you are becoming. They “stick out” because they don’t belong anymore. It is time to look at them, process and shift them.

👉🏼 Triggers are a good thing! They are doors we need to cross to our next level self.

 

🍵 Tea 4:

It really is on us.

Things are already arranged to run in our favor, and we get to flip the script in our minds to catch up with that. Tracing back where we learn the unhelpful ways we behave, the ways we perceive life and expect things to work for us is key to internalize this goodness. It is SO freeing and enlightening to understand where certain default lenses come from! And SO much better yet is to give ourselves space to actually re-frame and re-tell stories in our brains and change patterns to believe things that are more helpful.

👉🏼 Anything and everything can be traced back, shifted and seeing anew.

 

 

🍵 Tea 5:

Avoidance just postpones the good stuff

The more we avoid looking at something, the longer it will take to solve it and move past it.
In other words, it won’t go away if we pretend it is not there. Brushing something off just because it’s uncomfortable has never been the way to go and this year…. Dang, ONE short 30 mins journaling session got me to the root of things I have been avoiding looking at for a year! 🤭

👉🏼 The other side of the avoidance is so much better, lighter and freer! It is SO freaking worth it!

 

 

🍵 Tea 6:

No one ever behaves out of nowhere or out of the blue. Not you, not anyone around you.

‘Member Tea #2? Yeah, this one is directly related to that one.

There is this common thing that we hear all the time — “out of nowhere she did this”, “for no reason he acts crazy like that”.

That doesn’t exist, love. People always have reasons to act the way they do.

We might not agree with their reasons and motivation, but there is always one behind everyone’s behavior.

And if you feel you have acted “out of nowhere” about something, just dig in. Reeeaaaally dig in. Trace back what you were doing before, what you were thinking, what the situation right before reminded you of and so on and so forth.

👉🏼 You’ll find that the most unrelatable events and situations are actually related.

Which ties up nicely with the next tea:

{‘cause everything is related 😉 }

 

🍵 Tea 7:

There aren’t “bad” behaviors, only misunderstood motivations {feelings}

We are human beings, feeling things, and those feelings prompt us to act in certain ways. Being labeled “bad” or “good” just creates guilt and even shame when it goes on for longer period of times.

The classic example that most of us can relate to 👉🏼 after a long day of work and prob some extra stress, we tell ourselves “I’ll be ‘bad’ tonight, and eat those cookies/cake/chips/etc”.

Are we being “bad” or just trying to find ways to soothe the stress, feel comforted, warm and cozy? This type of behavior is literally us trying to find ways to feel better, to find comfort. NOTHING about trying to make ourselves feel better is inherently ‘bad’.

Certainly, there are other options to release stress and feel comforted after a long day of work that doesn’t involve a cookie stomachache but there is nothing ‘bad’ about the behavior itself. It is just our motivations that have been misunderstood or worse… harshly judged.

👉🏼 Understanding where our behaviors come from is key to stop judging ourselves when we can't break a unhelpful habit

 

🍵 Tea 8:

If something keeps showing up, notice it! Don’t ignore it.

Remember a few items back when I was talking about triggers and avoidance? Most likely not only that thing will not go away {and you will keep getting triggered} but it might start showing up more often because you are moving in that new direction in life {see Tea #3}. It is that natural pull towards the good things that need us to look at this thing showing up so we can move forward.

Truly things are already set to run in our favor. We make it more complicated than needs to be.

👉🏼 Notice al the little and big things showing up insistently. Just observe them. It is safe to do so and on the other side is so so much better!

 

🍵 Tea 9:

Trust your gut!

Oh, the juiciest of all! We hear this one all the time, but really what IS it? And how do we even know to trust it?

This is what I learned {even more!} about it this last year: ANY type of inkling, nudge, unease, excitement, ANY of those subtle and quiet things that show up are our intuition guiding us. Or said gut feeling.

Something feels exciting but I shush it down because I’m not “supposed” to be excited with so little evidence, or something or a situation just feels “off” even thou it ticks all the boxes? Going against it always brought me extra headaches later on. And the opposite as well — trusting it and following tat guidance keeps the flow going and everything else moving easily.

It is one of the trickiest pieces her, to trust our gut when everything logical tells you not to. But give it a try love. 😉

👉🏼 Huge life path detours can be avoided and an easier connection with our own flow happens when we trust ourselves and our gut

 

🎂THE CAKE!

We are MEANT for the good thing!

My love….. we are meant to experience the good things! We are BORN for it!

All that stuff I mentioned before, all that inner work, and digging and flipping? Those are all for that one thing and one thing only – to experience good things here on this sweet life on this darling Earth that we live in.⭐️❤️🌎

All that “work” is to improve our experience and truly live the goodness we are meant to.

🚨 How can we really enjoy this beautiful world and life we were assigned to if we are getting held back with distorted vision of ourselves and the world due to those darn:

😈 unprocessed triggers {who can enjoy life getting triggered all the time?},
😈 labeling our actions ‘bad’ or “out of the blue crazy”, without seeing our own humanness,
😈 shutting down our feelings because we are “not supposed to feel this way”,
😈 avoiding things and actually believing good stuff can only come after the struggle? {Who is to tell how much struggle is enough?}

🙅🏻‍♀️ How can we truly enjoy our lives that way?

All the things I mentioned in this post love, is not to overwhelm or feel loaded {some of those stuff gets to be heavy sometimes} but to help get all that gunk and ickiness off our shoulders so we can actually live life in happiness, joy, pleasure, fulfillment, excitement, awe and goodness.
Because this beautiful life of ours is meant for this – to be lived and to be enjoyed.

👉🏼 You are meant to experience all the good things you’ve been dreaming about! And even the ones you hadn’t dared to dream yet.

It is all here for us, up for grabs.

Get the crap out of the way, my love. That goodness is yours!

And THAT was my bday wisdom from the last few weeks. 😃

Now I want to hear from you in the comments…

⭐️ what was your fave mug illustration {or maybe it is the cake?}
⭐️ which one of the Teas resonated most?

 

Tell me in the comments!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many Smooches,